Wilson and Ashbury's Excellent Adventure!
by Aret
Summary: Wade Wilson, (Deadpool) Gavina (Gash) Ashbury, Nightmare and Jasmine Smith are hired mercenaries on a mission to Philadelphia. Although Gash is the main character along with Wade. What mission? They must kill and destroy a deadly gang that's been testing this Mutant Cure on humans, of course! Summary may change later. M for later violence.
1. Chapter 1

Wilson and Ashbury's Excellent Adventure

Important Note: Hello, I am a new fan of Deadpool, and I would like to make a story. Now, I don't know how Deadpool would react to certain situations, and I will **not** include EVERY single detail or blah blah of his history, and I will change some certain things in his history. Remember, this is a Fanfiction...I can make any character how I want them to be... and I have my own plans for characters such as Deadpool (He's going to probably be WAY out of character on certain things, but that's okay, less violence-ish. Very much ish). and more will be figured out later.

This is my OC info. Of course you're the reader and if you want, you can skip past it. Warning: It's long.

**Main Character OC:**

**Name:** Gavina Ashbury

**Undercover name:** Gash (yeah, TOTALLY original)

**Age: **25

**Gender:** Female

**Height:** 5 Ft. 10 inch.

**Weight:** 135 lb.

**Hair color/style:** Short black hair in which the bangs are covering from the left to the right side of her face.

**Skin color:** Light red (due to the fact she's a mix of American Indian and German)

**Eye color:** Green (It's fanfiction, so why not?)

**Universe:** Earth-616

**Special Powers:** She can only speak to certain types of animals.

**Weapons:** Katanas and any sort of gun or knife. Mostly Katanas.

Defense: Bullet-proof vest, hand-to-hand combat, firecrackers, Katanas, Pistols, and some smoke bombs (how does she fit most of those things in her hoodie?!)

**Alliance:** None. She's a mercenary.

**Flaws**: Too distrusting, too badass, blah blah, and some other things I'll probably add later.

**Good Characteristics**: Okay, even though she doesn't show much emotion on the outside, she's a nice person on the inside (you can totally see her rescuing kittens from trees and then later if you question her about it, she would deny it), cares for others too much (well, the people and who/whatever she likes), innocent in some ways (just because she doesn't understand certain stuff doesn't mean that she's TOO innocent. Just a lot on certain stuff) and more will be figured out later.

**Outfit:** To be honest, she loves to dress up as a boy (weird habit, but what can you do?). She wears a black face mask with a white painted 'gash' that streaks across the right side of her face (think it as a Hollywood Undead member mask), along she wears a dark teal Jacket (well, really it's a hoodie with a LOT of secret pockets. Remember: Assassin), brown combat pants, and black combat boots that make her look taller because she's a cross-dresser and supposed to look like a tall boy.

**Interests:** Has a fetish for knives/swords/sharp pointy objects (because they're just that cool) except needles , flowers (like she'd ever admit it, but she IS a girl), and animals (as in the adoring way).

**Hopes:** That one day she will be brave enough to be more social and trusting. For now, she has to put up a certain awesome lunatic COUGHDEADPOOLCOUGH!

**Pet Peeves:** Needles and forcing to dress like her own gender (remember: Tomboy)

Mentality: She and her self-conscious like to converse inside her head, because it helps.

Y_**ou'll learn more about her and more OCs later**_, but for now, enjoy this chapter (finally)!

Chapter One:

"Gash?" The man asked while circling around the young man.

"Yes." He answered in a voice that had a feminine ring to it. The man, like all the others who ever talked to the boy, brushed it off.

"I heard you slaughtered the owner of Stan's." The older man said as he stopped circling and sat down in a leather chair. He looked at the young man, thinking that he was around his late teens or early twenties. Wasn't the kid too young to be a mercenary?

"He was putting poison in his donuts and feeding them to innocent people. I would have killed him anyway." Gash shrugged, looked at the seated man through his face mask. The man nodded.

"I see. Before I can hire you for this...special mission...I want to ask you some questions. You see," The man said as he glanced away for a second.

"I hire the best, and what you've been doing for the last twelve years in New York have impressed me, Gash. I will give you a warning, you will not be working alone." The man said. Gash nodded as he took the liberty to sit down in a green chair that faced towards the man.

"How old are you?" He began.

"I am twenty-eight, sir." Gash said. The man looked at him in surprise.

"Twenty-eight? You look way younger. Anyway, it doesn't matter. What are your powers, mister Gash?" The man continued.

"I speak to the animals." Gash answered simply.

"Speaking to animals? I never heard of that one. I can see how it will help you with this mission, however. Animals know secrets that we don't even think about." The man said as he looked at the other man in surprise. Gash only nodded.

"Why do you want to do this mission, Gash?"

"I'm a mercenary, Mr. Walls. I seek money." Gash said in a monotone voice. Mr. Walls looked at him with a smirk.

"Honest, too. You've been working in New York for twelve years, getting rid of...pests. Which brings up the question. Why are you saving up so much money?" The man looked at Gash straight in the eye. Gash sighed.

"Rent costs a lot, Mr. Walls. My plans are also private." He answered. Mr. Walls nodded.

"Understandable. I like you. Your job is simple. Have you heard of the Rats?" Mr. Walls asked as he stood up to stretch his legs.

"They're a large gang in New York. I've been having trouble with them for a while, now. Most of them are gone." Gash answered. Mr. Walls sighed.

"They're not just in New York, although their numbers are few here thanks to magnificent people like yourself, they're somewhere else." Gash blushed a bit under the praise, but nobody could see under "his" mask.

"But...that somewhere else is near New York, and they're planning something, Gash." Mr. Walls said as he took an object out from his cloak pocket and tossed it to Gash. Said 'boy' looked at the item wrapped in cloth.

"Go ahead. See for yourself." Mr. Walls said. Gash then unwrapped it. As he did, he seen a small vile filled with a green liquid.

"The Mutant Cure is supposed to be gone forever out of human and mutant hands. Somehow, these gang members have a hold of them, and we found it on them. It's very dangerous, especially for a mutant such as yourself, Mr. Gash. Although I want you on this mission because the government wouldn't allow me to get some backup. You see, I asked the government for some help to come and help dispose both the Rats and the Cure, but they said 'no'."

"Why?" Gash asked, brow creasing. Mr. Walls sighed.

"It's no mystery that mankind view mutants as menaces, Gash. I think they refused because they want it to happen. I myself am not a mutant, and I do not view them as the rest of mankind does. The reason why I'm hiring you and some others on this mission is because as the Sheriff of this city, I want peace. Without mutants such as yourself, how can there be any peace? Especially in New York." Mr. Walls shook his head as he sat back down.

"Anyway, I've done some research in Pennsylvania, and there base is somewhere in Philadelphia. I contacted the sheriff there, and he knows that you and the other..._three _are coming. He's not too pleased, but he knows that the city is at risk if that Mutant Cure gets into the wrong hands. Hypocrites, I tell you. Anyway, here's your plane ticket. You will meet one partner right away, but the other two have a long way coming from England. Your mission is to kill every single Rat or anybody who you don't trust who has their hands on that Mutant Cure. Be safe, and if you have to, use self defense as a killing method." The sheriff of New York City said as he handed Gash his ticket.

"Your flight is at eight 0' clock A.M. That's not all, Gash." The sheriff said Gash tilted 'his' head and the sheriff continued.

"When you get to Philadelphia, I have a man waiting for you. He will show you to your rented apartment. Yes, since I won't have much money, you four will have to share one. It's rented for one month, meaning that if you four don't complete this mission during that time, I will not pay you. I have already spoken to the other three. Right now, get some rest, Gash. You'll need it because you'll have a big day tomorrow." The Sheriff said kindly as he took the Mutant Cure away from Gash.

"Okay sheriff. I'll do my best." He said stiffly as he left. The sheriff smiled as the young 'boy' left.

"That one is going to deal with hell on her hands." He said knowingly as he chuckled.

TIME SKIP LINE!...

"Ah, really!? Another one sheriff?!" The man in the suit asked, sitting on his couch.

"Yes." The voice said over the phone.

"Why? You don't even _need_ the other three when ya got me!" The man said as he couldn't believe his ears.

"Look, it's a gigantic city in Pennsylvania, D. You won't be able to hunt and find every Rat and destroy ever vile. Anyway, his name is Gash."

"Gash? I heard of him before! The pipsqueak just saves everybody in New York City, doesn't he? Little bastard makes more money than I ever do." The man in the suit huffed.

**You know you should stop swearing in front of your boss.**The mature voice said inside of his head.

_Oh come on! What could he do to us? He needs us! _The immature voice piped up.

"If you and your partners complete this mission successfully, then you will have a ton of money. Just be there at eight, and treat the young man with respect." Mr. Walls sighed as he hung up.

"Aaaaaalright!" The man suddenly put the phone down and turned towards the readers.

"Hey, Deadpool here, and I don't know what's going on, but I-" Hey, stop breaking the fourth wall! The authoress pointed out at Deadpool.

"Hey! There's the loony who's forcing me into this damn fanfiction! Since I'm here, why should I listen to you?" Deadpool yelled up at the ceiling towards the authoress. Because if you don't, I'll make you the worse ending ever.

"Bitch, please. I'm effing Deadpool."

Yeah, but in this fanfiction, you could die. Or worse, get eaten alive by rabid worms and then die.

"Rabid worms? What the hell, lady? Anyway, since I've been awesome and un-killable for so long, I have badass rights!" Deadpool yelled upwards at the authoress.

True. But I'm the one making your every decision. Keep it up and we'll see you in a short skirt and high heels, asshole.

"Bitch, I don't mind."

Wait...what?

"I've been through a _whooole_ lot of torture, a terrible past, no parents, hardly any friends, and I'm being forced into this shitty story. I think whatever happens to me, I'll deal with it." He said as he shrugged it off.

Sigh. Okay, fine. You can only break the fourth wall when in funny as hell moments. Or if needed. In return you deal with whatever comes to you in this story.

"Deal!" Deadpool stuck out his hand and the authoress reached down and shook it. Now, let's continue this story in the...NEXT CHAPTER!

…...

I can see him doing that! XD Oh, I based off Deadpool's voice and inner thoughts off of the Deadpool game. Deadpool's inner mature voice reminds me of Nibbler off of Futurama for some reason 0-o


	2. Chapter 2

Wilson and Ashbury's Excellent Adventure

Chapter Two:

**Another Main OC: **

**Name:** Matthew (Matt) Smith (yeah, my friend's a giant Doctor Who fan, so why not?)

**Undercover name: **Nightmare

**Age: **25 (younger than his twin sister, Jasmine)

**Gender:** Male

**Height:** 5 ft. and 11 inches

**Weight:** 168 pounds

**Hair color/style:** Short, spiky black hair

**Skin color:** fair

**Eye color:** blue

**Universe:** Earth-616

**Special Powers: **He can transform into shadows, or make anything appear out of shadows...stop thinking it, you pervs.

**Weapons:** His shadow, smoke bombs, knives, a pistol with two packs of bullets, and himself when he uses his Shadow Transformation Technique (STT).

**Alliance:** He and his sister work as Assassins under English and American Government.

**Flaws**: Too unemotional, can't die it seems, doesn't care, sometimes doesn't know the obvious, will kick puppies for the sheer hell out of it, and sometimes is a jerk face.

**Good Characteristics**: He is caring and loyal, and he will stop at nothing to protect his friends and family.

**Outfit: **He wears a long black cloak which covers almost everything except his hands, and ankles (he's a bit fanfiction shy).

**Interests:** Money, getting jobs completed for money, and keeping boys away from his friends and family who are girls (because he's over-protective)

**Hopes:** To marry his girlfriend in Japan and take a long rest from being a mercenary.

**Pet Peeves:** His sister (SPOILERS)

**Mentality: **Innocent yet not innocent.

Her apartment was crappy. Sure she made a good amount of money, but she had to spend it on rent, food, and other stuff she needed, along with putting some money into her savings. Before she entered, she changed back into "normal citizen clothing" in a local women's bathroom nearby which was usually empty due to the bad smell in there. She stuffed her assassin clothes in her duffel bag, walked out, and unlocked her apartment. As she entered and turned the lights on, she sighed. The sight was boring, and crappy. There was mold on the roof, the floor, although no matter how much she mopped it, it was dirty and it smelled.

She quickly sprayed some scented spray in the room, took her duffel bag, and headed into the wash room. Although an assassin, she was a neat freak. Everything had to be cleaned or washed, and the apartment nearly drove her insane. Lucky for her, she had a lot of missions to do, either free or paid and so she didn't have to see the apartment very much.

She dumped her clothes into the washer, closed the lid, and turned it on. The stuff that was in her hoodie was taken out before that, so no worries are needed. She opened her bedroom door and placed her mission supplies on the bed.

_It's so lonely here._ Her self conscious, a voice in her head named 'Sarah' whispered. Gavina nodded.

_**It is. I wish I had a puppy, or a cat to keep me company.**_ Gavina thought back as she picked up her duffel bag. If she was going to Philadelphia for a month, she had to pack at least her clothing. She opened her drawer and took out her underclothing first and folded them at the bottom of the duffel bag. Then her shirts, weapons, pants, and hoodies.

_When we get that mission done, we'll be heading for somewhere else. There's a lot of superheroes that already fight crime in big cities such as New York, so we could go to a state where a lot of people don't think to look at and save lives there. Then we can get dozens of animals on our new farm while helping more people! _Sarah thought happily.

_**You got a point there**_**. **Gavina thought, hope filling her. But then reality.

_**But first we have to complete this mission. **_She sent a message to Sarah. Both remembered their savings jar, which was filled to the brim right now.

_Yes. _Then the silence continued as Gavina did her normal duties; clean, cook, eat, clean, do the laundry, and so on. As she looked out of her window, she sighed.

"Hn."

_What's bothering ya, Hun?" _Sarah asked with concern.

_**I've been here since I was thirteen. Same job, same apartment, hardly any social life, and now we're moving forward. It's just...surprising. All this time and finally we're moving on. I feel...I feel like I wasted twelve years of my life, even though those twelve years were focused on saving innocents... **_Gavina thought to Sarah. Sarah remained quiet for a few minutes, then replied gently.

_You had nowhere else to go, and so you went here. Remember Gavina, you had very few choices, and New York is where they will never find you...nor _him_. True, you could have a social life, but then you wouldn't have time to be 'Gash', and even though there are plenty of heroes in New York, New York is a pretty big place. You gave up something that every thirteen year-old girl wouldn't dare to give up, in return you help save people from chaos. Stop blaming yourself now, you're too awesome. _Sarah said. Gavina, despite herself, smiled.

"Thank you. You've been my best friend since six." She whispered.

_You've been my best friend, too. However, I want you to live life when we go to...North Dakota._

_**North Dakota? **_

_Yeah...it's near Canada...in the beautiful wilderness, clean air, rabid animals...we can totally rescue people because there's a LOT of danger in places like that. Meanwhile, you can maybe...I don't know, build a family. _

At this, Gavina nearly choked on her own spit.

"W-what?" She asked as Sarah laughed.

_Find yo'self a man, build a farm, have kids...hey! Maybe your man could be a fellow mutant and you two can kill stuff together!  
_Sarah teased.

_**Um...sounds romantic?**_

_Damn straight it is. I would love a big strong man by our-_

_**OKAY! **_Gavina raised her hands. "No need to go that further."

_Oh, you're just flustered easily. You know that you want somebody by your side and protect you._

_**Buuuuuullshit. I can protect myself. **_

_Mm hmmm...right. You. Need. Someone. To. Help. You. Not just do it all for you, but...a soul mate. _

_**You sound like a cheesy romantic. **_Gavina scoffed. If it were possible, Sarah would grin.

_What can I say? I love romantic stuff. Wait, plot: Sweet, beautiful , virginal twenty-five year-old decides to be her own gender and she's hard to get-_

_**Saraaaaaaaaah...**_Gavina whined. Sarah continued.

_Suddenly she meets this fine fellow mutant-_

_**Noooooooooo... **_Gavina whined as she put her hands on her head.

"Nope nope nope so much nope." She repeated as Sarah sighed.

_FINE. You unromantic downer. Really, do you have any estrogen in you whatsoever? _

_****__**…****.**__****__****__**…****..**_.…**...What's Estrogen? **Gavina tilted her head.

…_...I'm stuck in the head of an ignorant child... _Sarah sighed as she retreated somewhere in Gavina's brain.

"I was serious. What is it?" Gavina asked. No answer. She shrugged.

"Oh well...I have to get the laundry and stuff." She said as she went into the laundry room. She took the clothes out of the dryer and took them into her room. She placed them in her duffel bag. After she done that, she turned off all the lights and dressed into her green plaid (awesome) pajamas and went to bed.

"Peh, romance. Who the hell needs that?" She asked aloud while looking at the ceiling. Sarah didn't answer her, so she rolled her eyes.

"Figures. Anyway, goodnight, Sarah." She said. Before falling to sleep, Gavina heard Sarah answer.

_Goodnight, dear. _

…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…...

Yep. Remade it a bit :D


	3. Chapter 3

Wilson and Ashbury's Excellent Adventure

Main Character OC:

Name: Jasmine Smith

Undercover name: None. Everybody thinks that Jasmine is her undercover name.

Age: 25 (the oldest of the Smith twins)

Gender: Female

Height: 5 Ft. 9 inch.

Weight: 134 lb.

Hair color/style: Short blond hair with long pigtails.

Skin color: Fair

Eye color: Green

Universe: Earth-616

Special Powers: Summons light, create light dome, Turns into a scary lady (scarier than Nightmare) in some occasions, and her natural-born cuteness just makes people fawn over her.

Weapons: Summons light and forms it into random weapons, a pistol with bullets, Dark Jasmine (her dark side, of course. Yeah, she gets cookies), and whatever she can come up with.

Defense: Light shield, Nightmare, Dark Jasmine, and her cuteness.

Alliance: Assassin under English and American government.

Flaws: Too Mary-Sue, too hyper, giggly, uses fake emotion, and other than that, Dark Jasmine's flaw is too cruel, creepy, and wicked.

**Good Characteristics**: When it's just herself, Jasmine would risk her life to save a puppy. Okay, maybe not. She's caring, loving, and creepy as hell.

Outfit: Hot pink tank top that shows a little bit of stomach, a hot pink skirt, black pants, black gloves, and pink scrunchies (the thingies that hold up hair such as Jasmine's pigtails).

Interests: Puppies, kittens, cookies, cakes, friends everywhere, happy stuff, and bringing love and happiness (or poo in pants on some occasions) to people.

Hopes: She can go to Japan with her brother and chill out from the whole killing stuff. Dark Jasmine's interests is just to get the kill done. Yeah... anyway, enjoy the chapter!

**CHAPTER THREE:**

He brushed his teeth thoroughly, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

"Why, hello ugly." He deadpanned as he spat out the mixture of toothpaste and spit. He hated his reflection for a reason.

_It could be worse...you could have no sense of humor! _Immature Wade piped up.

**That idiot has a point.** Mature Wade sighed. **Anyway, w****e have been loved before, so it's not like our face should make a huge difference. **

_**Yeah yeah, **_Normal Wade thought back to his other halves. _**Who in the hell wants this? **_He though bitterly as he stared at his scared face. Last night he went on a blind date. When she saw his face as he was about to kiss her, she screamed and ran, in which had put Wade in a sour mood that morning.

**Many women. I mean, we've been with Death and Copycat...we've kissed more girls than most men...**

_**Yeah...with our mask on. Except Death, we didn't kiss her...but **_**she**_** likes Thanos. **_Wade remembered last week, increasing his sour mood.

_Oh well! When we finish that mission, we can move from this place! Hey, we might even move to a rural area, like Montana!_

**Montana is in the United States, idiot. We're Canadian, and we're in New York no less...we don't belong here. **

_Bummer bummer. We're Deadpool! We belong where we please!_

_**Can you please shut up? **_ Normal Wade thought in annoyance as he slipped his mask back on.

_I wonder what's gotten into him..._

**He's being emo right now because he can't find a woman who'll look at his face and not scream...and other things. **

_Ooooh. So he wants..._love?

_**Oh no. Love? No. I've had my fair share of heartbreaks, and that 'love' thing is a huge stupid lie. Look at Death. **_The Merc with the mouth thought bitterly as he remembered his last visit.

_**She dumped us for another guy, THANOS no less! I think I want to stab myself. **_ Wade finished as he grabbed his packed suitcases and walked out of his horrible apartment.

…..…...…..…...…..…...…..…...…..…...…..…...…...…..…...

_Beep! Beep! _Sarah yelled in her head, waking her up. Gavina opened her eyes to bright sunlight. Shielding herself, she grunted.

_**What time is it? **_She thought to Sarah groggily.

_Adventure Time! Just kidding! Time to get yo ass up. It's six-thirty. _Sarah thought as Gavina got dressed from her (AWESOME) green plaid pajamas.

_**Why do you cuss so much? Sure I cuss too...but you're taking it way too seriously. **_

_Because we're both adults and I can. Also, YOLO. _

_**You had to go there, didn't you? **_Gavina asked as she now was making breakfast in the kitchen.

_Yes. Yes I HAD to. Anyway, we're starving...hurry up with those eggs. _

_**Fine...so bossy today... **_Gavina rolled her eyes as she flipped her omelet. Things happen so fast when you're conversing with yourself, you know? Anyway...

A random song entered Gavina's head. Sarah groaned.

_Why?! The last time we've heard this song was three days ago! Why must your brain remember it _now_? _

Gavina ignored Sarah as she sung quietly, for she hated her singing voice and she didn't feel like singing loud. As she flipped her eggs, she sung.

"Harry Truman, Doris Day, something, something, South Pacific, something Winchell, Joey something-io..."

_Dear whoever created the universe, please end this torture... _Sarah whined. Ignoring Sarah, Gavina kept singing softly. As she sung, she glanced at the clock which read 6:10. She flipped her eggs onto the plate and turned the gas off.

"North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe..." Gavina still sung as she began to eat her eggs quickly. _Doo doo- just effing great. Now it's in MY head...bitch. _Sarah sighed. Gavina shrugged.

" I don't care...it's an awesome song. Doo doodoo do do..." She continued as she didn't talk with her mouth full.

Gavina could hear Sarah sigh...and if it were possible, Sarah would have rolled her eyes. Five minutes later after eating, Gavina took a short shower, got dressed as her hero identity, and re-packed her bags, this time, she added personal hygiene stuff and other stuff. How should I know what she puts in there? That's her personal stuff, not mine. Anyways...

"We didn't start the fire," Gavina then sung loudly and clearly as she switched off all of the lights and water.

"it was always burning since the world's been turning! We didn't-" She kept singing as she walked towards the nearest airport.

_You know...when you're singing like THAT, you sound good. _Sarah admitted reluctantly. Gavina, despite herself, smirked as she walked in the dark alleys in the city. Some people who were there stared, but they recognized her outfit and then smiled. She was Gash, a fellow protector of New York...of course people adored "him" like they adored Spider-man.

"Sing like what? Loud?" She asked aloud, and then quieted down as she realized her quick mistake. Luckily for her it was New York City, and it was always noisy so nobody heard her talk to herself.

_Yes. Loud, soft, and clear...it sounds like your moth- never mind. _Sarah said quickly, remembering the touchy subject.

_**It's okay. I really don't care if we think about her anymore. I'm twenty-five, not a young teen anymore. I can handle it. **_Gavina reassured Sarah.

_Do you want to go back? _Sarah asked, sensing some longing in Gavina.

_**Only for my pet cat...which is probably dead by now...and...maybe I could see them again..I know what they did was wrong, but people change. **_Hope filled Gavina's chest as she remembered the farm in Missouri.

_After this mission...we could visit them. _Sarah said, awed by Gavina's thinking process.

_You hardly thought about them after the first two years when we left. Why now?_

_**I've been living under a rock in New York City...well...what I'm saying is that for twelve years I've dedicated to fight crime in New York City, among some places in New York...nowhere else. I didn't graduate, I've never got any college offers...none. I always listened to what...HE said until... **_Gavina let the sentence drop as she remembered her former mentor.

_Let's stop and look at how pretty the city is...ooh! Look at that bench! It has a squirrel on it! _Sarah said happily, distracting Gavina. Gavina, fascinated by animals, looked. As she walked near the bench, she greeted it.

"Hello, Mr. Squirrel." She said softly. The squirrel looked at her, and then started growling.

_Bastard, I ain't in no welcoming mood! Do you see these?! These are my nuts! Go find your own, hairless clown! _The squirrel made a barking sound as it stuffed acorns in it's mouth. A woman and her daughter walked under it. The little girl pointed.

"Oh Mommy! It's so cute!" She said happily.

_Cute? I'm not cute, you little shit bag! _

At this, the child giggled, not understanding the squirrel at all. Gavina sweat-dropped.

_**Well...someone's not in a happy mood this morning. Hey...**_

When nobody was looking, Gavina looked at the squirrel.

"I'm not a hairless clown, you disease-carrying fleabag." She huffed and then walked away as the animal then began cussing.

…...…...…..…...…..…...…..…...…..…...…...…..…...…..…...

As she reached the airport, she felt fear when she looked at the people...so many people...she distracted herself by looking at her plane ticket. Suddenly...she face palmed. She didn't know who she was supposed to be working with, and it could be _anybody_. Luckily, she had Mr. Wall's number. Taking her phone out, she began dialing.

Beep. Beep.

"Hello, Gash! What's happening?"

"I should have asked this earlier...but who does my partner look like?"

"Oh. You'll know him when you see him. He wears a skin tight costume and looks like a clown. You should meet him there soon. Is that all, Mr. Gash? Good. Goodbye." Before she could answer, he hung up.

"Yeah...thanks." Gavina said sarcastically as she ended the call. A clown with skin-tight clothes? Where in hell could she find one of those? As if by a freaking miracle, a voice called over to her.

"I didn't know that I was working with a clown! I hate clowns!" A voice called. Gavina looked at the airport and found..._what_ was he wearing? Really? Even if his outfit didn't show any skin, it revealed _every_ aspect of his body. So this was the guy who she was working with? Wait..._clown_?

She walked slowly and nervously towards the half-busy airport, nearer the freaky man in the red and black costume. His arms were crossed and he looked at her as if he was a little freaked out by her.

She stopped when she was five feet away from him and looked down.

"I'm not a clown." She said, surprised that she wasn't running away by now.

"Uh huh. Then explain that." He said.

"Explain what?" She asked in a low tone of voice, looking at herself.

"The squirrel on your shoulder." He said. Gavina looked to her left, and found the growling squirrel that she had met earlier.

_I Do NOT have fleas! You_ **bastard**! It barked in anger.

Gavina frowned.

"How does this growling thing make me look like a clown?" She asked softly, ignoring it.

_BITCH! I'm talking to you!_

"Clowns are dark and scary...plus they have animal minions along with them just in case they want to abduct a small child." He said matter of factually.

Gavina, despite her shyness, looked up and just stared at him in confusion. People at the airport looked, but then they turned away. I mean, two weirdos in costumes in an airport arguing draws attention...especially with a pissed off animal on one's shoulder. Deadpool muttered under his breath to the authoress.

"Ya got that right."

"Clowns are creepy people who wear face paint and scare the living hell out of children. They are also psycho murders. Trust me, if I was a clown, you'd know. As for the squirrel, I have no clue how he got onto my shoulder." She deadpanned as she oddly felt..._social_ with this weirdo. Deadpool remained silent. Then out of the blue, he started laughing.

"Ooh! I like this kid!" He said as he patted her on the back. Both Gavina and the squirrel almost fell.

"Tell ya what... don't do any freaky clown shit and we'll be okay. Also, we can't keep the squirrel." Deadpool said as he wiped a fake tear from laughing. Gavina, a little shocked by his behavior, found herself nodding a little.

She looked at the squirrel and glared.

"Don't worry. I wasn't planning on keeping it." She said. The squirrel glared back.

_This won't be the last you see of me, you hairless emo bastard. _

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Yeah...I changed it so she can be more shy and stuff 0u0!


	4. Chapter 4

Wilson and Ashbury's Excellent Adventure

**Main Character OC:**

**Name:** Akira Aret

**Undercover name:** None.

**Age:** 26

**Gender:** Female

**Height**: 5 Ft. 11 inch.

**Weight**: 134 lb.

**Hair color/style:** Medium brunette hair tied into a high spiky ponytail

**Skin color:** Fair

**Eye color:** Brown

**Universe:** Earth-616

**Special Powers:** She, like Gavina, can talk to animals

**Weapons:** Kunai, guns, bombs..ninja stuff...

**Defense:** She calls on animals to help her (like a giant bird in the sky pooping in somebody's eyes).

**Good Characteristics**: Caring, wise, and knows a lot about medical stuff.

**Flaws: ** I guess you'll see eventually...she would probably end up like a Mary-Sue.

**Outfit:** A regular brown long sleeved shirt, blue jeans, a white doctor outfit, and a mask.

**Interests:** Studying animals and helping people/whatever/whoever (Mary-Sue-ish?)

**Hopes:** That she will be a famous doctor for everything that breathes.

**Job: **A personal nurse for Nightmare, Jasmine, and Gavina. Deadpool can heal his own shi-er...STUFF.

CHAPTER FOUR:

"Um, sir." A lady tapped Gavina on the shoulder as she glared at the squirrel.

"Yes?" She asked politely.

"We don't allow squirrels here." She said nervously. Gavina smiled.

"The little guy followed us here, and so I was wondering what to do...could you please help?" Gavina asked in a "nice guy" voice. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her comrade roll his eyes through his skin-tight mask. Yeah...it was pretty obvious.

"Um...sure?" The lady said as she got out her phone.

_Hey! This is a fight between ME and this bastard, bitch! _ The squirrel continued to snarl. Gavina rolled her eyes.

"You know, never mind. I can drop him outside. Please save my spot, Mr..."

"Oh yeah... I haven't introduced myself to you, twerp. My name is Deadpool. Fine, I'll save your spot since we're working together." He said as he crossed his arms and Gavina rolled her eyes left. The lady looked at the young "man" leaving.

"So...you two are super heroes?" She asked, intrigued by Gash. Deadpool chuckled as he waved it off.

"Pft. That clown's a newbie. _I'm_ the real hero. Also, can I have your number?" He asked flirtatiously. The attendant frowned as she looked at other guy. He was opening the door with the angry squirrel on his shoulder, walking out.

"No...I'm sorry but no." She said as she looked at the "clown".

"What's his name?" She asked. At this, Deadpool sighed in annoyance.

"Clown. His name is Clown. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Anyways, I'll get going." She said as she left. Deadpool raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything else until Gavina came back. When she did, her partner was...glaring at her?

"What's up?" She asked.

"Thanks. I got rejected by the super hot helper lady because she was interested in you." He pouted.

"...How is that my fault?" Gavina asked. Deadpool shrugged.

"I don't know...but somehow it is! Anyway, let's go, I want to board this plane!" He said excitedly as they reached closer to the passport dude.

….…..….….….…...SCENE SKIP LINE!...….…...….…...….…...…...….…...

"Four? _That's it?_ Who did he send?" A slender woman around the age of thirty sighed as she sat in her chair. Four people sat close together in a candle-lit room.

"Two clowns, an emo, and a girl who thrives on kittens, or so I heard. Man, the New York City sheriff can't mind his own business, can't he?" A blond, long haired man who was sitting next to the woman with longer bright red hair complained.

"No, he can't." Another man with short green hair said in annoyance as he looked at them.

"He sent mutants after us...the fool." He scoffed. "You'd think he'd learn by now." He said as he sat back in his chair. The girl with cherry hair grinned.

"Mutants?" Then she began chuckling. "After what he discovered on one of our...pets? Old man Walls has gone blind." She said with an eye roll.

"No." The leader of the four said quietly, and the other three looked at him.

"He's sending Wade Wilson, Matthew Smith, Jasmine Smith, and...that one boy from New York...Gash, I think. They're highly dangerous, and we must know who we're dealing with. Mr. Walls is going over the extreme on this one...and it's suspicious." He said thoughtfully.

"Great...so we're dealing with something we normally don't deal with?" The man with the green hair narrowed his eyes.

"Yes."

"How do you know this, Leader?" The woman with the cherry-colored hair asked. The leader looked at her in the eyes.

"Because Mr. Walls has contacted me, Momoko. He sent me a warning, and who he was sending. Bah, _idiot_. Although, we are mutants too...so we have a fair fight...except that Wade Wilson has an advantage over us..." The leader said darkly.

"What does he have?" Momiko asked, raising an eyebrow.

"There are rumors that he is immortal...but what I know for sure is that it's near impossible to kill him. He could kill us all... he's very dangerous. I don't know if the _Cure_ would stop him." The leader said slowly. The long blond haired man shrugged. Then he grinned.

"I have a plan, boss." He said. The leader looked at him with interest as he continued.

"But we'll need two large speakers."

….…..….….….…...SCENE SKIP LINE..….….…..….….….…...…..….…

"Ah man, and you should've been there!" Deadpool said as Gavina wished she had headphones.

"He totally wet the bed!" He finished and Gavina looked at him from the corner of her eye. Yay, she was working with a psycho who never, _EVER_ shuts up. The two were sitting side-by-side on the plane. Their stuff was neatly put away, and the plane had just entered the air. As soon as they sat down, her companion began talking about some weird stuff...such as his former companion on one mission wet the bed. Gavina's eye twitched as he sighed happily at the memories.

"Do you...talk this much on a daily basis?" She asked in a soft yet husky voice and Deadpool grinned through his mask.

"Dude, they call me Deadpool...Merc with a Mouth. You'll never hear the end of me!" He singsonged happily as Gavina thought to herself. Was this mission completely necessary? Yeah, some thugs got a hold of the Mutant Cure and could destroy mutants everywhere...but hey, this was Earth-616, Mr. Walls could've recruited _anybody_...such as the X-men or The Incredible Hulk.

_You know as much as I do that this mission IS necessary...not only we're going to save mutants from being stripped away from their powers, but we're going to get cash so we can move away from this dump. _Sarah reassured her.

_Although...I'd rather work with The Hulk instead of this idiot. _She said grumpily. Gavina agreed.

"Chimichangas! Chimichangas!" Deadpool said randomly. Gavina looked out the window. How tiny everything was...she wondered if those tiny people down there were waving at the plane. Not thinking much about it, she started waving at the now ant-like people.

"Hey, watcha doin'?" She heard her partner ask.

"..." She felt her cheeks lit up with embarrassment. Lucky for her that she was wearing her mask.

"Oh come on...I totally saw you! There's no need to hide it!" He said cheerfully.

"Then why did you ask, then?" Gavina said, feeling a cloud of nervousness wash over her. Great...she looked like an idiot. She _felt_ like an idiot.

"Ah, isn't somebody embarrassed!" He said knowingly as he cooed. Gavina's eye twitched through her mask.

"Maybe...I don't socialize very well." She admitted, not looking at him.

"Aha! So you're not good with people! Don't worry, kid. When we get to Philadelphia, I'm going to make you social!" He said, determined.

"Why?" She asked before she spoke.

"Because, when it comes to it, every man in his life needs a girl! And to start out with that, you have to be..._social_." He said, whispering the word 'social'. Gavina flushed. Was he saying that she needed a man? Also, she didn't _need_ to be anything! Okay...maybe a little bit social, but not _that_ much.

"N-no thanks. I'm here for the mission...I don't want to be social." She managed to say. Her companion scoffed.

"Peh, you kids, never taking advice from their elders...hey, how old are you, anyway?" He asked.

"Twenty-five...why?" She answered.

"Twenty-five? What? You look effing eighteen, kid! Yeesh. I wouldn't be surprised if you're an effing virgin." He shook his head in disbelief. Gavina remained quiet. Deadpool looked at her.

"Please tell me that I'm not working with an innocent virgin noob." He deadpanned. Gavina looked at him with her eye twitching and face blushing.

"W-what?" _**What that have to do with anything?!**_ To her surprise, the usually cheerful superhero (yes he is one) didn't laugh. He looked almost...horrified.

"Dear mother of Chimichangas..." He said. "We're workin' with an innocent virgin clown noob! Dear whoever created the universe, why?!" He asked.

_Oh no he didn't. _Sarah growled. Gavina wasn't as mad as she should have been...more like amazed by his change in mood.

_**We're working with a loon. **_Gavina thought, feeling a little more shy as her companion looked at her as if she had destroyed all of the chimichangas in the world.

_What's wrong with being an innocent virgin? Clown, no. Noob, definitely not. I'm insulted. _Sarah grouched, trying to make Gavina feel pissed. It only worked with the 'clown' part.

"I'm not a clown." Gavina said again with a slight edge in her voice. Deadpool looked at her in surprise. Then he grinned.

"So you're an innocent virgin noob, but not a clown?" He asked, trying to make his companion more outspoken.

Instead of looking down at her feet, Gavina looked at his mask.

"Damn straight." Then she quickly looked out at the window.

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**Diary Entry 34****Subject: The Clown Noob**

Hey, Deadpool here, writing into this thing. As you readers can see, my psychologist ordered me to write in this damn book so I can get my anger and feelings out. Why am I working with a clown virgin? His virginity doesn't bother me...it's just that he's a clown...and a noob...and anti-social as hell unless I call him clown. WTF kind of shit am I working with? He doesn't even LOOK like a man! What is he, an effing fairy? Yay...so old Wade Wilson (which is I) is working with a gay clown who can't even voice his own opinion. He's so WEIRD. I tell you what, that little shit better know some slick moves or I'm going to just lose it and shoot him. There is NO reason why I have to put up with a gay, virgin, noob, emo, anti-social, weird, weak, and unskilled CLOWN for some cash. NONE. Wow. There is SO many things wrong with skippy here, who's just staring out into the window...hm...now I want to push him out the window for some reason. Oh well...we're about to land...so I'll leave you readers to take a break. Damn authoress here is posting SO. MANY. WORDS. IN. THIS. FANFIC! Anyways...I'm hungry for some chimichangas...those bastards better have them in Philadelphia or I'll probably go mad and shoot someone.

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Poor Wade. Poor Gavina...poor insane squirrel.


End file.
